and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
