I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
