What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
