I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
