Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
