So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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