It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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