I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
