And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
How naked do you want me to be?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
