he puts the penis in happiness.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
