Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Randomize
