My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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