We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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