did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
