I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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