Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
