Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
