I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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