This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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