Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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