Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
