The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
please come you make the beer taste better
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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