the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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