My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize