Umm I'm too high to move.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
