The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
