In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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