I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What a dumb baby whore.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize