Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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