she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
