I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
