So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
