After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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