I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize