In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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