he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
