i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
