i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
