Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
