don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
