reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
