Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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