Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
