You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
love makes seman taste better
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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