Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
