then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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