I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
