I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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