but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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