Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My ass is underappreciated
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
