quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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