Yo dont text me then not text me
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
