At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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