To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize