you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
