I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
